


On the Bench

by SilenceOfTheMongooses



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Hockey, M/M, On the Bench AU, bitty is a figure skater au, figure skating, jack goes straight into the nhl au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 09:38:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12056253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilenceOfTheMongooses/pseuds/SilenceOfTheMongooses
Summary: Ransom and Holster are the duo behind On the Bench. Bitty is the newly-crowned national figure skating champion. Jack plays for the San Jose Sharks and has been having a very boring winter break. It's a perfect combination.





	On the Bench

**Author's Note:**

> the og: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJWwey8qQZj-BX3xtJbYfxA 
> 
> i was watching the prospect showcase tonight (HOLY SHIT SHARKS! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHOW! WHY DID THE DUCKS SCORE ON AN OPEN FUCKING NET SHARKS!) and they had ads for the us figure skating championships being held in san jose so.  
> thats why jack is playing for the sharks. 
> 
> anyways this is literally the first fanfiction ive written in ~5 years and i dont know anything abt figure skating and its also the longest piece of creative writing ive ever done SO

Jack doesn’t know why he agreed to this. Sure, George said it would be good for his PR. Sure, Jacob and Olly have actually sent him into dignified hysterics. Sure, the figure skater they conscripted into the video with him is very very cute and very cheerful and overall just fills Jack’s heart with joy. But at what cost?

It starts when the figure skating championships are held at the SAP Arena. Jack’s privately very much enchanted by the routines and quietly nabs a ticket when they’re offered. Only the one, of course. He loves his friends and his teammates, but this is kind of his thing that he enjoys by himself. Plus, it’s easier for one semi-famous San Jose Shark to go unnoticed than two or three.

So it’s the final day of the championships. Jack has come here nearly every day, getting to know the contestants from afar and picking favorites almost at random. It’s not like he’s a figure skating expert. From the duos, he decides on a Russian-American pair. The man (Alexei? Jack is pretty sure his last name is Mashkov) is incredibly tall and lifts his significantly smaller partner (Dmitria Petrov) with such confidence that Jack’s secondhand vertigo is almost overcome. Almost. He chose to root for them because Mashkov seems just so… likable. He chatters with the judges and the hosts and the attendants, and once he even waves at Jack with a glint of recognition in his eye. He’s a lot of things Jack wishes he could be. Dmitria is a little more reserved, but she’s still effusive, greeting flowers from young girls with hugs and sticking one from every bouquet she receives in her hair (and one in Alexei’s hair too, if it’ll stick.)

And from the singles… Well, let’s just say Jack has his eye on a certain someone. A certain someone who decided to set one of his routines not to a classic or even instrumental contemporary song, but one from an artist the people around him scream is Beyoncé. Jack makes a mental note to look her up later. And to look up Eric Bittle, 5’5”, from Georgia, whose father is a football coach for the local high school and community college and calls his son Bitty, who’s famous in the figure skating world for greeting basically every person he meets with a homemade pie, who has a vlog that Jack only watches 2 minutes of after seeing him perform the first day. He would watch more, but he feels weirdly uncomfortable going back to watch his routines and maybe eventually work up the nerve to talk to him if he’s already got so much information on “Bitty”.

When George asks him if he wants to do an On the Bench video, Jack barely takes any time to think about it. It’s a brief winter break. He doesn’t have much to do: he already skyped his parents in Montreal, had Shitty and Lardo over for a couple nights, and watched all of The Office. Twice. Jack’s favorite character is Pam.

Jack pulls into the arena parking lot on the Monday after the championships, mostly empty except for a few cars that he’s pretty sure belong to the maintenance people. He picks a spot close to the doors, but not too close, so he can stretch his legs a little before meeting Justin Olransi and Adam Birkholtz, the guys who play Jacob and Olly of On the Bench. Their people said they had a couple more guys to “teach the fundies” to, but hadn’t specified.

Which is why Jack Zimmermann, forward for the San Jose Sharks, player who’s scored 2 hat tricks so far this season, owner of an Instagram with a few thousand followers dedicated exclusively to pictures of dogs he sees in the cities he’s playing in, nearly has a heart attack when he sees Eric Bittle standing nervously near the entrance holding five pie boxes and a gym bag on his shoulder.

“Eh… hey there,” Jack finally manages to say as he approaches the figure skater who jumps a little at his voice.

“Oh! Nearly gave me a heart attack there, honey! Would have been a disaster if I dropped all these after spending all night makin’ them. ” Jack’s immediately caught off-guard by the term of endearment. He also falls a little bit in love.

“Are you, uh, here for Justin and Adam?”

“Yes indeedy! Their producers told me to just come on in when I got here, but…”

“You can’t open the door with those pies in your hands.”

 “Exactly! But now that you’ve come along, Mr. Zimmermann, if you wouldn’t mind just swinging those open for me?”

Jack blushes as Bitty calls him by his name. He hadn’t realized he’d been recognized.

“Sure. Can I ask what kind those are?” he says as he pulls on the handles to the front entrance. Bitty walks through and stands to the side at the next set of doors to let Jack open those too.

“Well, one’s date and apple pie, for Justin, because Olly played in Bangladesh and the internet says that’s a big thing there? This other one’s banana cream, which, mind you, is not a type I normally make -- what kind of filling doesn’t need to be cooked? -- but Adam said that’s his favorite. There’s a pumpkin and a cherry for the crew. And then, um, the last one is a maple crusted apple for you!” Jack is glad he’s following behind Bitty as he rattles off the list of pies, because the intense blush that spreads across his face when Eric says he made a pie for him -- his favorite! just for Jack! -- would put the cherries to shame.

“I’m Eric Bittle, by the way, forgot to introduce myself in all the door and pie talk!”

Jack clears his throat and darts ahead to push open one of the doors into the rink. “Yeah, I know. I, uh, watched your routines last week.”

Eric stops in his tracks and turns to Jack with the biggest smile he’s ever seen on a human being. Jacks falls a little bit more in love.

“No kidding! I wouldn’t have pegged any of you Sharks to be the figure-skating-watching type! What, did your girlfriend drag you along?”

“Actually, I went by myself. It’s kind of a guilty pleasure, I guess? Except I don’t feel bad about it, because it’s cool. Also, I don’t have a girlfriend.” 

“Oh.”

“Or a boyfriend.”

“Ohh.”

Jack is pretty sure Bitty took the hint, but he’ll have to find out later because Justin and Adam and their crew have spotted them approaching and come to greet them. It’s a whirlwind of chatter as the pie boxes are whisked away from Bitty and set somewhere safe for now. Then they lay out the plan for the video.

Justin and Adam -- or Ransom and Holster, as Jack and Bitty are told -- tend to finish each other’s sentences, ideas, and sandwiches. Literally. As they’re explaining the basic idea for the shoot they’re passing a turkey sub back and forth.

“Okay, so, the plan is, we’re gonna teach you guys  the fundies of figure skating. Bits, you can wear your actual figure skating blades, that’s cool --” Holster starts.

“Jack, you and us are wearing hockey blades. We’re all going to be holding hockey sticks, since this is a hockey series after all.”

“Bits, would you mind showing us some moves real quick just so we can make up dumb shit about them? Just like, the basics --”

“Like, whatever the fuck an axel is --”

“Or that thing where you spin around --”

“And just some kind of jump would be good.”

Jack feels a little overwhelmed as he watches Bitty lace up his pristine white skates. Sure, he’s always wanted to learn to figure skate. But ideally it would have happened twenty years ago, and not now, with a professional who placed in the national championships LAST WEEK and who made him a pie, for a joke video. He takes ten seconds to allow himself to panic and think of all the terrible things that would happen (Bitty sees him fail at all the moves and laughs at him, Bitty is offended that he’s so bad at this even with his help, Bitty fumbles a move because a bunch of idiots are stumbling across the ice and hurts himself) and then shuts it all out. He pulls out his own skates and just steps into them without lacing them to watch Bitty on the ice from the middle of the boards. 

“Okay boys, this is a basic toe loop, okay? It’s the easiest jump.” With this introduction, Eric gives himself a short loop between the blue lines before crossing his feet in a pattern Jack can’t follow and then launching himself into the air, landing on one foot and gliding around to a smattering of applause from the crew and Jack.

Jack feels a brief rush of anxiety at the prospect of having to copy that, but returns his attention to Eric. He’s standing a little closer to the boards, explaining the basic footwork for the jump. When he sees the looks on the hockey players’ faces, he cracks a smile.

“Okay, boys, maybe we just do some turns and work our way up to a toe loop. I don’t think we’ll be getting anywhere near an axel today, but I can still do one for the video.”

The crew assents and Jack, Ransom, and Holster start lacing up their skates as Bitty comes off the ice to wait for them. 

“Y’all should have seen the look on your faces when I came down from that jump. I haven’t seen so much fear in one spot since Coach told the quarterback he was off the team and threatened to call the cops for shoving me into a storage closet overnight.”

Everyone looks up at Bitty in shock at the last comment.

“Well, shit, Bits, he shoulda called the cops. What’s the statute of limitations on attempted murder? Can we call ‘em now?” Ransom asks.

“No, no, guys, it’s fine. It was a long time ago. I’m still a little uncomfortable in tight spaces, but turns out that quarterback was gay too and just afraid to admit it to himself. We’re Facebook friends now! He and his husband have two kids!” Bitty winks at Jack when he says the “gay too” part. Jack thinks he died for real that time.  

 

 

_“Well, howdy boys, and welcome to another eppie. We’re here in San Jose with Jack Zimmermann of some hockey team and Eric Bittle, National Men’s Figure Skating Champion as of yesterday. Figured we’d just brush up on Bitty’s skatin’ skills, make sure he’s ready for the next game.”_

_“Yeah, a lot of people don’t know this, but I was actually a champion figure skater in Bangladesh at the same time I was playin’ hockey. Sometimes during a game I’d be so bored since I wasn’t on the ice I’d just nip off to a little compo next door. I won three titles that way.”_

_Jack Zimmermann and Eric Bittle stand on either side of Olly and Jacob as they intro the show, stoic and silent and glancing at each other only every 5 seconds. Then it cuts to Jacob doing some rudimentary and ineffective stretches holding a hockey stick._

_“Alrighty boys! We’re gonna start off with a little looper, or a toe loop. Whatcha wanna do is just go real high up in the air, okay?”_

_Bitty and Jack nod and Jacob takes off down the ice. At the second blue line he makes an attempt at crossing his feet and does manage to launch himself into the air, but lands on his stomach and slides a few feet down. His stick is thrown into the boards.“Just like that boys! Your turn!”_

_Bitty stifles a giggle and prods Jack to go first. Jack takes it slow down the ice-- he gives himself just enough time to somewhat successfully perform the jump, landing on one foot, but having to immediately brace himself with the other. He gives a thumbs up to Bits and skates out of the way, still holding onto his own stick._

_Bitty starts off in the standard position, takes a deep breath, and zooms down the middle of the rink. He pulls off a perfect double axel. The camera cuts to Jacob, now turned onto his back to watch the proceedings. “That was pretty good,” he mutters under his breath._

_A new shot: the boys are standing in the center of the ice. “Alrighty boys, this is a no-holds-barred speed skate around the edge of the rink. No toeys, no slappies, no backies, and no cheatsies. Go!” Jacob and Olly take off in the opposite direction of the camera, while Bits and Jack are taken by surprise. Then they grin at each other and follow suit._

_The camera follows the race: Jack comes between the two hosts, checking Olly into the boards. Jacob shrieks and pulls away into the inside, but is quickly surpassed by Bitty, low to the ground and with a determined look on his face. Jack has the same look on his face as he shoves Jacob to the ice and makes an effort to catch up. It’s almost frightening, seeing these athletes take something so silly so seriously._

_Bitty wins, of course. He’s smaller and more agile, although Jack is a pretty close match. Bitty comes to a quicker stop and watches as Jack glides towards the boards with little effort put into stopping. He turns around and grins at Bitty, who’s doubled over laughing as Jack hits the edge of the rink, uncaring._

_The camera pans over to Jacob and Olly, lying in a heap on the opposite end of the ice. “This is Jacob Ardown.”_

_“And Olly Postanin.”_

_“Checkin’ out.”_

 

They’re all packed up and ready to go. Bitty is distributing pies. He brings Jack’s out last and says “Oh, wait! I just have to make sure it’s all ready to go!”

He turns around and opens the box just out of Jack’s view. If he really wanted, he could probably lean over Eric’s shoulder to see what he’s doing. But he doesn’t.

“Okay, it’s all good!” Bitty hands the box to Jack and looks up at him with those big, brown eyes. “Do you wanna walk out together?”

“Sure.”

They head out, Jack opening all the doors again even though Bitty isn’t holding the boxes anymore. They make small talk until they reach Bitty’s rental car (he parked closer so he wouldn’t have to carry the pies so far), when Eric turns to Jack again. “Hey, I had a really good time today. You know, you’re not such a bad figure skater, even with a hockey stick in your hands.”

“What can I say. I had a really good teacher.”

Eric smiles that big smile and punches Jack lightly on the shoulder. “Hey, whenever I see you again, let me know how you like that pie, okay? I only tested the recipe a couple times, so I want to make sure it’s perfect.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you around?”

“I’m sure our paths will cross one day. Maybe we’ll even have a rematch just so I can beat you again. See you whenever, Mr. Zimmermann.” Bitty’s eyes twinkle as he clambers into his car, throwing his bag into the back seat.

Jack laughs and walks backwards towards his car, glancing between the pie in his hands and the blond man in the car who has just started blasting the same song he did that routine to, lipsyncing to the words and dancing in his seat.

  


When Jack opens the box the next day, his heart flutters and he can’t stop smiling. Attached to the inside of the box is a note.

_555-783-8938_

_Maybe we could get coffee before our rematch? I’m in town for another week or two. ;)_


End file.
